Sentence
the Fivehundredandseventeenth
Which was when
Little Levy Balquhidder heard it: he was lolling in his pram, beside
his mum Rilla, in The Square in Melrose, and Rilla was reading The
Southern Reporter, and the voice came from behind the pram, over
towards The Ship Inn, and it seemed to be echoed, and it was
quite curious, because the echo wasn't a repeat of the original
words, rather it was almost as if someone was having a conversation
with himself. but the voice was almost stentorian, competing with the
clamorous singing which drifted out of the open door of the Pub and
Little Levy's hearing was uncannily good and he could tell that the
two voices were coming from several feet apart; he closed his eyes
and his spirit did a little triangulation exercise - the sort of
thing it did when it was the spirit of Pherson Dalwhinnie and had
trained for SOE up in Arisaig - quite a simple exercise when you know
the distance between your own ears and have a map, which of course
the spirit did, in it's encyclopaedic memory banks, and can judge
from years of practice the distance between the origination and your
reception, and it could almost see the two men standing outside The
Ship, on either side of the doorway, and the spirit filtered out
the extraneous sounds of traffic, sight-seers, raucous singing and
even the rustle of Rilla's newspaper as she turned the pages, and
although it could not see the two men, it knew that they must be
Professor Sir Clement Dane, illustrious archaeologist and bon
viveur - though how on earth there were two of him, it couldn't
imagine, for it's memory banks came up with the eminent professor's
entry in Who's Who and he had no living siblings, no immediate
family, only a rather tenuous link to the Dumbiedykes Clan - and
while this was all going on inside the head of Little Levy, who
appeared to be placidly playing with his Teddy (Galumph) and the
plush Rabbit (Waggle), the spirit was recording the conversation for
future examination and a more thorough appraisal, but what it heard
was rather disturbing - and it went something like this:
"you conniving
bastard!"
"me,
conniving?"
"yes, you, you
little runt!"
"if I'm a runt,
then so are you!"
"shut your gob
before I shut it for you!"
"you and whose
army?" "you toe-rag!"
"not got your
Yankee Platoon behind you now, eh"
"why, I'll . .
. ."
"you'll what?"
"I'll finish
you off for good!"
"the way you
did old Pherson?"
"what do you
mean?"
"you were seen
you stupid twat!"
"who by?"
"by whom!
forgetting your grammar, rat-face?"
"I'll . . . .
."
"your chummy
auteur, old boy, Allan Massie, and not only him, our esteemed
Landlord, Rusty Irons, you were the last person to speak to
Dalwhinnie before, POOF!"
"who are you
calling a Poof?"
"you blithering
idiot, he went POOF! in a flash of lightning and
a cloud of smoke!"
"nobody saw me
after he left The Square!"
"don't be so
sure, Clemmie!"
"what do you
mean?"
"I mean you
were seen!"
"who by?"
"by whom! I
can't say out here, someone might be watching and listening!"
"you're fucking
paranoid. you are,"
"just as well
one of me is, come on, cut along the vennel,"
and the voices faded
away and Little Levy's spirit guessed they had gone down the lane to
the little car-park on the far side of the burn: and was quite
intrigued - he must find out who the second man was. and there was
no-one he could ask, so he would have to check the paper without
showing to his Mummy that he was a proficient reader, she might not
understand and that could bring problems of it's own; and Teri stared
at what she had typed, with absolutely no memory of any of it, as if
it had been sent complete and entire to her mind from some other, and
she thought about it: you couldn't make this up, it was quite
bewildering, and she wondered if she was perhaps coming down with a
fever!
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