Sentence The Seventysixth
But it was when Jubbly's surgeon had left, for he had to pick up his daughter from her Riding Lesson as his wife was too pregnant to drive, that Jubbly became first morose Рat herself for getting involved with a married man when she had forsworn herself done with men after Angus's many misdemeanours; then funny, telling many risqu̩ tales of the famous and infamous, which the Caddies could not quite follow, but they still enjoyed the animated way Jubbly told them; then in a maundering way she spoke of walking the West Highland Way with her daughter's Nanny who has been her Heartthrob, she said, for the past five years; she then became angry Рat Angus for attempting to win custody of their daughter on the grounds that a mother who seems unable to decide whether she is Straight or Lesbian is no good role model for a child entering her teenage years; then falling over Рin which recurring activity she had become so versatile as to avoid actual injury, despite the indignities often experienced; then outrageous Рflashing her bra or knickers in the
direction of anyone injudicious enough to be staring at her (quite blatantly challenging them to look away or admit their desire for her) and it was something she did very effectively; incandescent about Marting Elginbrod QC and not. It seemed only about his nefarious acquisition of copyrights and patents or his representation on the morrow of Angus at the family Court, but also – it seemed, though she gave no explicit details – rather that there had in the past been some kind of involvement with him, its exact nature not entirely made clear, though probably involving (well, she is Jubbly Johanssen after all) some degree of intimacy, from which Jubbly had emerged not at all unscathed, and certainly the fires of her fury were well stoked and few listening would like to be Martin Elginbrod should ever he encounter Jubbly with a pair of dressmaker's shears in her hand, the thought is enough to make men's eyes water and women cower with their ears stopped up to keep the Advocate's screams of agony from entering their heads; then openly flirtatious – she seemed to have particularly caught the eye of Father Finnegan, for the priest had come over and during the animated conversations which had been taking place, much to the undisguised amusement (if not also bemusement) of Ello and Ullo and the other Caddies, had taken advantage of a slight change of positions around the table, when one or another had by dint of bladder weakness or over indulgence, been required to visit what Jubbly kept referring to as “the Little Girls Room” managed to find a seat for himself and as the sands shifted, gradually moved closer to Jubbly until he was tightly squeezed between her and Conchita (Phemie's Caddy) and because of his intimate proximity to her, Jubbly's conversation with the whole party seemed to have turned into a dialogue between herself and the Quixotic priest, who suddenly declared – to Jubbly and the company: “by the Saints in Heaven and the Holy Mother herself and Our Lady Griselda of Longformacus may her memory live on and may I long be the Keeper of Her Holy Vault (at which Daphne's ears twitched and she made a mental note to make enquiries of Father Finnegan on the Morn's Morn and perhaps conduct an interpellation of him on the subject of The Lady) I'd be willin' to change me sex and become a Nun if you'll only be me Mother Superior,” at which Jubbly assured him that he wouldn't have to go to such lengths, for she was sure they could come to an understanding – and she kissed him full on the mouth,
while the silence in the cubicle became heavy with anticipation – and then Jubbly stood, drawing Father Finnegan after her and took him to the door which led up to the room she had booked earlier and he, with the panglossian innocence and naivete often found in those who enter Holy Orders too young without ever having experienced many, if any, of the sins of the flesh (or the soul) and are therefore quite out of their depth when finding themselves in the voluptuous arms of an experienced seductress like Jubbly; still, no-one spoke until Jubbly turned, blew kisses to Maude and Daphne, and disappeared up the stairs towing the unresisting Man of God after her; “what he sees in her I really don't know,” said Maude and the whole booth rocked with laughter – it was that kind of release of all the emotions and tensions which had become so pent up – and Daphne called for another round of drinks and just at that moment the food arrived and everybody began to tuck-in.
But it was when Jubbly's surgeon had left, for he had to pick up his daughter from her Riding Lesson as his wife was too pregnant to drive, that Jubbly became first morose Рat herself for getting involved with a married man when she had forsworn herself done with men after Angus's many misdemeanours; then funny, telling many risqu̩ tales of the famous and infamous, which the Caddies could not quite follow, but they still enjoyed the animated way Jubbly told them; then in a maundering way she spoke of walking the West Highland Way with her daughter's Nanny who has been her Heartthrob, she said, for the past five years; she then became angry Рat Angus for attempting to win custody of their daughter on the grounds that a mother who seems unable to decide whether she is Straight or Lesbian is no good role model for a child entering her teenage years; then falling over Рin which recurring activity she had become so versatile as to avoid actual injury, despite the indignities often experienced; then outrageous Рflashing her bra or knickers in the
direction of anyone injudicious enough to be staring at her (quite blatantly challenging them to look away or admit their desire for her) and it was something she did very effectively; incandescent about Marting Elginbrod QC and not. It seemed only about his nefarious acquisition of copyrights and patents or his representation on the morrow of Angus at the family Court, but also – it seemed, though she gave no explicit details – rather that there had in the past been some kind of involvement with him, its exact nature not entirely made clear, though probably involving (well, she is Jubbly Johanssen after all) some degree of intimacy, from which Jubbly had emerged not at all unscathed, and certainly the fires of her fury were well stoked and few listening would like to be Martin Elginbrod should ever he encounter Jubbly with a pair of dressmaker's shears in her hand, the thought is enough to make men's eyes water and women cower with their ears stopped up to keep the Advocate's screams of agony from entering their heads; then openly flirtatious – she seemed to have particularly caught the eye of Father Finnegan, for the priest had come over and during the animated conversations which had been taking place, much to the undisguised amusement (if not also bemusement) of Ello and Ullo and the other Caddies, had taken advantage of a slight change of positions around the table, when one or another had by dint of bladder weakness or over indulgence, been required to visit what Jubbly kept referring to as “the Little Girls Room” managed to find a seat for himself and as the sands shifted, gradually moved closer to Jubbly until he was tightly squeezed between her and Conchita (Phemie's Caddy) and because of his intimate proximity to her, Jubbly's conversation with the whole party seemed to have turned into a dialogue between herself and the Quixotic priest, who suddenly declared – to Jubbly and the company: “by the Saints in Heaven and the Holy Mother herself and Our Lady Griselda of Longformacus may her memory live on and may I long be the Keeper of Her Holy Vault (at which Daphne's ears twitched and she made a mental note to make enquiries of Father Finnegan on the Morn's Morn and perhaps conduct an interpellation of him on the subject of The Lady) I'd be willin' to change me sex and become a Nun if you'll only be me Mother Superior,” at which Jubbly assured him that he wouldn't have to go to such lengths, for she was sure they could come to an understanding – and she kissed him full on the mouth,
while the silence in the cubicle became heavy with anticipation – and then Jubbly stood, drawing Father Finnegan after her and took him to the door which led up to the room she had booked earlier and he, with the panglossian innocence and naivete often found in those who enter Holy Orders too young without ever having experienced many, if any, of the sins of the flesh (or the soul) and are therefore quite out of their depth when finding themselves in the voluptuous arms of an experienced seductress like Jubbly; still, no-one spoke until Jubbly turned, blew kisses to Maude and Daphne, and disappeared up the stairs towing the unresisting Man of God after her; “what he sees in her I really don't know,” said Maude and the whole booth rocked with laughter – it was that kind of release of all the emotions and tensions which had become so pent up – and Daphne called for another round of drinks and just at that moment the food arrived and everybody began to tuck-in.
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