Sentence The Eightieth
As they watched Jubbly, arm in arm with Kenny Cramond, stroll across the foreshore, and become lost among the dunes, obviously planning to spend the livelong day in his company – seeming to have forgotten her intention to Ride like a Valkyrie into the sanguinary clash with Angus and his Advocate, the despised Martin Elginbrod QC over the custody of their only daughter Carmelita in the Divorce Court that very afternoon, which – if she carried out her implied threats could only end in her being flung into the hoosegow – the Clink, the Lock-up, the Jugs, the Jail, they tried to explain to Ello, Ullo, Cristal and Conchita; Father Finnegan bade the friends “fare thee well, Mesdames, for I must leave thee, but if ye's find yersels in the vicinity of Our Lady of Longformacus, don't hesitate to pop into the Vestry for a wee glass o the Pure, and I mean that, I'm not given to casual invitations to any old Tom, Dick or Harriet, and yer all Bosom Buddies of Jubbly so that means yes're friends of mine, and don't worry about me gettin' defrocked for consortin' an cavortin' with Ladies of your Inclination – sure t'was for defrocking a number of Nuns to the displeasure o their Mother Superior who had her own designs that I got sent to this place – apart from the Brothers of Sancta Maria Monastery near Haddington, most o me flock are Poles an' I don't speak a single word o their lingo – too many consonants an' no nuff vowels for me,” so the Ladies all promised to look in on him whenever they were passing his Chapel when Phemie said that she had been checking the off-shore weather forecast and that today wouldn't be the best to venture Bass ward, so did anyone have other ideas; golf was dismissed as taking too long when all eight – for the Caddies were regarded as part of the family now – were clearly alcoholically unfit for the trek; added to which this week's Scottish Open would mean crowds of spectators and none of them felt up to even tackling a Putting Green before the steely gaze of critical observers; it was too fine here onshore to spend in the cellars of Father Finnegan's Chapel searching for historical evidence even if there was a definite hope of turning up anything as spectacular as Sir Walter Scott's discovery of the Scottish Crown Jewels – what a fisc – in an abandoned, battered and filthy old chest, adorned with ancient graffiti and encrusted with historically significant excrement, in a sealed-off oubliette of Edinburgh Castle, the very thought of which rather gave Daphne a shiver as she recalled, all too vividly, her own brief incarceration, and she pulled Maude close for a sudden embrace and warm, loving kiss, to express genuine gratitude for her rescue from what would otherwise have been a long, slow, and ultimately certain death - which drew loud cheers and wolf whistles from a group of men in waders heading for the Harbour, and a round of applause from the Caddies who, all being rather excitable by nature, were given to sudden, spontaneous, and rather joyous expressions of delight: whooping, jumping,
embracing and kissing, which both Daphne and Maude found very touching and rather loved them for; which was when Izzy had the best idea of the morning!
As they watched Jubbly, arm in arm with Kenny Cramond, stroll across the foreshore, and become lost among the dunes, obviously planning to spend the livelong day in his company – seeming to have forgotten her intention to Ride like a Valkyrie into the sanguinary clash with Angus and his Advocate, the despised Martin Elginbrod QC over the custody of their only daughter Carmelita in the Divorce Court that very afternoon, which – if she carried out her implied threats could only end in her being flung into the hoosegow – the Clink, the Lock-up, the Jugs, the Jail, they tried to explain to Ello, Ullo, Cristal and Conchita; Father Finnegan bade the friends “fare thee well, Mesdames, for I must leave thee, but if ye's find yersels in the vicinity of Our Lady of Longformacus, don't hesitate to pop into the Vestry for a wee glass o the Pure, and I mean that, I'm not given to casual invitations to any old Tom, Dick or Harriet, and yer all Bosom Buddies of Jubbly so that means yes're friends of mine, and don't worry about me gettin' defrocked for consortin' an cavortin' with Ladies of your Inclination – sure t'was for defrocking a number of Nuns to the displeasure o their Mother Superior who had her own designs that I got sent to this place – apart from the Brothers of Sancta Maria Monastery near Haddington, most o me flock are Poles an' I don't speak a single word o their lingo – too many consonants an' no nuff vowels for me,” so the Ladies all promised to look in on him whenever they were passing his Chapel when Phemie said that she had been checking the off-shore weather forecast and that today wouldn't be the best to venture Bass ward, so did anyone have other ideas; golf was dismissed as taking too long when all eight – for the Caddies were regarded as part of the family now – were clearly alcoholically unfit for the trek; added to which this week's Scottish Open would mean crowds of spectators and none of them felt up to even tackling a Putting Green before the steely gaze of critical observers; it was too fine here onshore to spend in the cellars of Father Finnegan's Chapel searching for historical evidence even if there was a definite hope of turning up anything as spectacular as Sir Walter Scott's discovery of the Scottish Crown Jewels – what a fisc – in an abandoned, battered and filthy old chest, adorned with ancient graffiti and encrusted with historically significant excrement, in a sealed-off oubliette of Edinburgh Castle, the very thought of which rather gave Daphne a shiver as she recalled, all too vividly, her own brief incarceration, and she pulled Maude close for a sudden embrace and warm, loving kiss, to express genuine gratitude for her rescue from what would otherwise have been a long, slow, and ultimately certain death - which drew loud cheers and wolf whistles from a group of men in waders heading for the Harbour, and a round of applause from the Caddies who, all being rather excitable by nature, were given to sudden, spontaneous, and rather joyous expressions of delight: whooping, jumping,
embracing and kissing, which both Daphne and Maude found very touching and rather loved them for; which was when Izzy had the best idea of the morning!
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