Sentence The Sixhundredandfiftysixth

Between The White House and their destination, with Agent Thoroughgood, whose prissy face matched his name, driving like an old Maid, their spirits, initially boisterous, became quite rambunctious as they anticipated the illicit pleasures they had been denied by circumstances for so long, encouraged by the nips of Laphraoigh they took from their hip flasks; so it was that on reaching The Dolls House, incongruously painted in a bright shocking pink on a pretty, but quietly bland, street

in Georgetown, Sir Parlane MacFarlane and Dominic Doubleday, fair aroused and with standing cocks pushing against their sporrans and causing the contents to gurgle and splash, were astonished 

when, in answer to a ring on the bell, the door was opened by a buxom blonde woman, whose ample bosom and deep cleavage hinted at lascivious activity between, their eyes rose to meet those of none other

and certainly the last person they could possibly have anticipated, than Marie Doubleday, Dominic's wife and Sir Parlane's mistress, last seen before they had left Edinburgh for Melrose Abbey those 750 years ago, and now looking in the pink herself and equally astonished: "of course, ah kent yese wiz in toon," she said, "ye're baith aw ower the nooze on TV bit hoo did ye ken ah wiz here," and Sir Parlane forestalled Dominic's statement of the truth with an alternative version of the facts which would give both more credit: "weel Marie," he said, in a voice as smooth as silk, "ah hud a freend makkin enquiries an heerd ye wiz ower here and it didnae tak me lang tae track ye doon, but a dinny ken the fu story o hoo ye got here, are ye goannie invite us in fer a dram?" and she blushed, "ah spect ye'll be wantin mair than a dram, if yer still the upstaunnin man ye wir back in Embra, ma Laird," and he lifted his kilt tae prove her correct, and taking him in her hand she pulled them inside and led them

into a dainty parlour where she bade them be seated while she got a bottle of Highland Park from the dresser and poured them each a healthy measure: "efter ye'd baith been gien up fer deed, Maister Elginbrod yer lawyer cam an read yer Last Will an Testament, leaving the Hoose tae me tae haud in trust fer yer bairn tae be, an Lady MacFarlane yer thurd best bed an a appairtment in Reekie's Close ower by, an she wisnae best pleased an she got anuvva Lawyer, recommended by The Maister o Kilquhenny wha'd bin takken a interest in her, tae challenge it in the Coort o Seshinn an he got a Interdick tae delay the execution of yer Bequests an she sed in richt high dudgeon that she wisnae goannie budge, an yin nicht therr wis a noffae commotion in the Close an when ah went tae see whit it wis, well whit it wis, wis an auld galoot dressed as a Monk saed he hud urgent bizness wi Her Ladyship and ah lettim in and he slammed the door an lockit me oot! an ah tried tae get in the windae o the back kitchen that ah'd left up a wee tae cool a pie, an sumdy slammed it doon on ma heid wi a awfae BANG an everthin want BLACK! an wen ah opened up ma e'en ah wiz sittin aw bedraggled a

windswept oan a big muckle boat fer oot at sea an greetin ma een oot, an a auld goat wi a white beard asked me iffen a wis awricht, an a teltim ah didnae ken whaur a wis an he asked me whit number wis ma cabbin an a teltim ah didnae hae a cabbin an he took pity oan me an askit if mayhap he wis tae invite me tae his cabin wood ah happen tae accept his invertation an ah sed aye a wid so took me tae his cabin an stowed me awa fer the voyage, an he he saed he'd nevva tell a soul ah wiz ther iffen ah made it worth his wile, wich wis dead easy, cos he'd only a wee cocky an he telt me the boat wis gaunin tae Amerikay an he'd smuggle me aff an set me up wi a nice wee flat an forby he wis merrit tae sum auld witch he did, an he looked efter me an the bairn, ah think he thocht it wis his, an kept me in style an then a year ago he upped an died in ma bed an wen ah caw'd fer a ambluance, the polis cam tae, an they sed he wis a Chief Justice o the Supreme Coort an ah wis gied a hale load o money tae no breathe a word o whit had happened tae naebdy, an a huvnae, but ah set up this wee hoose fer gentlemen wha likes their lassies wee an fresh, jist lik you dae, Dom," and she patted his arm and he smiled back at her, "cos ah keeps the lassies, an a cuple o laddies tae, fer ower safer than iffen they

wis oan the streets an preyed oan by strangers, they luv me an ah treats um well an aw, an thon's it in a nutshell, but Ma Laird, am richt pleased tae see ye here in the flesh," and he asked, "and the bairn?" and she smiled, "wee Pippin, he's five yeer auld an the very spit o ye, Sir Parlane, he's no lang gaun tae sleep, if ye gie it a wee bit, ye'll can see him wi'oot him wakin up, an gettin a fricht, an in the mornin, if ye's are stayin the nicht, ye'll hae time tae hae a chat wi him." and Sir Parlane sent Dominic out to dismiss the Secret Service Agent, as they would be staying the night with an old friend from Scotland.