Sentence The Seventyeighth
As it turned out, neither Daphne nor Maude, nor Phemie, nor Izzy, nor indeed any of the Caddies, returned to the Golf Links that day, for after eating their fill and drinking much more than their fill, the eight friends – oh yes, the Caddies, Ello, Ullo Cristal and Conchita, were quite definitely their friends by now, having been present to witness Jubbly Johanssen's abduction, and probable seduction, of Father Finnegan and while there were certain points of difference between understandings of the import of that particular incident, and also Ello and Ullo's grasp of the precise meanings of many of the things spoken of around the table, due in no small part to their unfamiliarity with either the Scots or the English languages, and that much of the blether was simply drunken bunkum anyway, they were pretty smart cookies and between them had a pretty fair general idea of the gist of what had happened and was likely to happen, and as they had already been paid for the day's golfing, had no difficulty with accepting that their professional duties would not be required until the next day and so were free to enjoy the rest of this day as they pleased – and they were very pleased to remain in the company of the four 'golfers' (if applying that title to Daphne, Maude, Phemie and Izzy isn't rather stretching it) for whatever transpired; and so it was that as the day drew towards closing time, the eightsome reeled towards Daphne and Maude's bridal suite in the Forth View Hotel and played a
kind of 'Tag Team' version of Strip Monopoly, with the added excitement of Forfeits; I'm sure I need say no more, and so will draw my delicate wisp of gauze over the happenings in Forth View Hotel that night, until the fine morning that followed, when the eight rather rumpled, but delightfully gruntled friends, with puffy faces and sleepy eyes and wild bed-hair, made their way, after rather hearty breakfasts – considering their alcoholic consumption during the night before and the complete lack of sleep for most of them – made their way to The Jolly Boatman and were just in time to catch Jubbly and Father Desmond (for that was the Priest's Christian name) Finnegan exiting the building in order to enjoy a refreshing and invigorating stroll along the beach, with a mien of sated exhaustion which was when Jubbly noticed that the figure slowly maundering along the foreshore towards them was none other than Kenny Cramond, the famous Scottish Film Director, and she emerged from the group in an attempt to gain his attention by discarding as much of her clothing as it would take, so
that she might request his autograph – on her tummy, in wash-proof ink, or permanent marker (which she could have tattooed later, she thought) – now wouldn't that be one in the eye for Angus, later today!
As it turned out, neither Daphne nor Maude, nor Phemie, nor Izzy, nor indeed any of the Caddies, returned to the Golf Links that day, for after eating their fill and drinking much more than their fill, the eight friends – oh yes, the Caddies, Ello, Ullo Cristal and Conchita, were quite definitely their friends by now, having been present to witness Jubbly Johanssen's abduction, and probable seduction, of Father Finnegan and while there were certain points of difference between understandings of the import of that particular incident, and also Ello and Ullo's grasp of the precise meanings of many of the things spoken of around the table, due in no small part to their unfamiliarity with either the Scots or the English languages, and that much of the blether was simply drunken bunkum anyway, they were pretty smart cookies and between them had a pretty fair general idea of the gist of what had happened and was likely to happen, and as they had already been paid for the day's golfing, had no difficulty with accepting that their professional duties would not be required until the next day and so were free to enjoy the rest of this day as they pleased – and they were very pleased to remain in the company of the four 'golfers' (if applying that title to Daphne, Maude, Phemie and Izzy isn't rather stretching it) for whatever transpired; and so it was that as the day drew towards closing time, the eightsome reeled towards Daphne and Maude's bridal suite in the Forth View Hotel and played a
kind of 'Tag Team' version of Strip Monopoly, with the added excitement of Forfeits; I'm sure I need say no more, and so will draw my delicate wisp of gauze over the happenings in Forth View Hotel that night, until the fine morning that followed, when the eight rather rumpled, but delightfully gruntled friends, with puffy faces and sleepy eyes and wild bed-hair, made their way, after rather hearty breakfasts – considering their alcoholic consumption during the night before and the complete lack of sleep for most of them – made their way to The Jolly Boatman and were just in time to catch Jubbly and Father Desmond (for that was the Priest's Christian name) Finnegan exiting the building in order to enjoy a refreshing and invigorating stroll along the beach, with a mien of sated exhaustion which was when Jubbly noticed that the figure slowly maundering along the foreshore towards them was none other than Kenny Cramond, the famous Scottish Film Director, and she emerged from the group in an attempt to gain his attention by discarding as much of her clothing as it would take, so
that she might request his autograph – on her tummy, in wash-proof ink, or permanent marker (which she could have tattooed later, she thought) – now wouldn't that be one in the eye for Angus, later today!
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