Sentence The Fourhundredandsixtythird

“For Fuck Sake!” hissed Daphne, unusually mumpish this morning, “what's going on woman? has your system crashed? are you off-line, off-message, off course?” but Maude sat patiently waiting until, after what seemed like 24 Hours in A & E the phone call was eventually answered and after

hearing Maude speak in a rather halting form of Pidgin – surely unnecessary for a call to Gullane, just a few miles away – Daphne resumed her conversation with Father Mungo; “all arranged,” said Maude, triumphantly, after blowing kisses into her phone, destined for Phemie Lauder's ear, “once I got past her new maid, she's from Tonga and speaks a very quaint form of Pidgin I hadn't encountered before, so she was able to extend my vocabulary, she's a darling really, so I'm hoping to have a drink with her later, and I did speak with Phemie, and she's got a pantechnicon and Lulu and the boys, as she calls The Girl Gang, are all ready and willing – very willing indeed; so it's just a matter of Father Makemerry showing them what to lift and it'll be job done in no time,” she glanced at her watch, “they'll be here in half an hour,” and Father Macaneny rubbed his hands at the thought of some

strapping Amazons entering his sanctum – for he'd met Lulu's Gang before and was especially taken with Lulu herself; and then Maude asked Daphne: “what was the dynamite you found in Griselda's Journal?” and Daphne beamed: “it's an account of a meeting with a mendicant friar, Father Tavish of Dalwhinnie, and three Poor Clares, Sisters Tamarind, Bernice and Licinda – so!” and Maude gawped: “our Tavish? our Tammy and Bernie? and who's this Licinda when she's at home?” and Daphne snorted: “well, she's not been home for a long time, dearest, she's a Romanian girl who was badly abused by a lot of men, including that creepy Ranulph Ochan'toshan and his sleazy chums at the Hill House in Bowden; do you know, they even devised a perverse game of thimblerig, where they inserted a Chinese chime ball into one of the girls and if the player could pick the right one, he'd have his way with her while the ball was still, well, er, you know, umm,” and Father Mungo suggested: “up her Jacksie? my God, I wonder how they'd get it out after?” and Maude butted in: “they should be castrated, those evil predators, in fact I'd happily volunteer my services – you know how good I am with a pair of pinking shears!” but Father Macaneny interjected: “and I could inculcate them with the way of Our Lord, that'd dae the trick, once I tellum about the Hellfire and Damnation they'd endure for the whole of Eternity if they didn't stop with their depraved and sordid ways – I'm tellin' yese, it's a kinda psychological castration and works a trick – mind, it's the way I tellit, too, I'm inclined tae embellish it with a lot of gory and graphic detail! most o them heave up the contents of their stomach and bladder before I've finished!”