Sentence The Sixhundredandfiftyeighth

"Sir Parlane MacFarlane, newly appointed US Ambassador to Scotland was today arrested during a combined FBI/DC Police raid on a paedophile brothel in Georgetown, write Sadie Moskowitz of the Washington Post, Rose Mitnick, the New York Times and Hyman Kaplan of No Fixed Abode; arrested along with MacFarlane were his valet, Dominic Doubleday and his wife, Marie Doubleday, also known as Mrs McOgle, owner of The Dolls House, a brothel specialising in providing under-age children of both sexes to be abused by paedophiles from up and down the Eastern Seaboard; DC Social Workers took eight children into protective custody; no names of the children were released for legal reasons, and the families of five girls and three boys are currently being sought by the DC Police and Children's Services . . . . ." the President broke off from his reading and threw the press release that had just come over the wire from AP onto the floor: "hogwash," he cried, "tittle-tattle,

balderdash, Fake News, all of it Lies, Lies Lollygagging Lah-di-dah Lies! send out a tweet to that effect, in those exact words and in CAPITALS!" he roared at his quaking Press Secretary, who had the misfortune as well as the temerity to have brought the wire in, "and as for that evil, twisted, conniving liar and fabricating scapegrace Kaplan, I want him fired from any job he gets between now and Doomsday and a list made of any freelance work he gets and the names and addresses of any editors and publishers who employ him and I want them all investigated by the CIA, FBI, DEA, ATF, Homeland Security and NSA, and any other acronyms you can think of covering Tax, Auto Registration, Immigration, Births, Marriages and Deaths, have they all got Green Cards? I want every car they own slapped with a ticket if it so much as pauses at a kerb or goes through a set of lights, regardless of the colour, what's the opposite of Kudos? SHITE! they are going to get a barrel-load poured over them; and hey! you know, Kaplan, Moskowitz and Mitnick are all Eastern European names run them through Interpol, just the surnames and if there's anyone on their books with the same surname I want the bastards deported to spend the rest of their lives in courts and prisons trying to persuade 'so-called' judges in those countries that they ain't the same people; have you done all that?" and the Press Secretary blanched, "as soon as I reach my desk, sir,"and Duck exploded, "what have you been doing? I want it all done yesterday – in fact stop the clocks in the whole country and

wind them back to the same time yesterday, issue an order that this is officially still yesterday, logroll them all together and I'll sign the Executive Order to that effect now, where is it? and I want those three bastards in Jail before I restart the clocks again and we can all get on with our lives – get it done, all of it, yesterday, before people begin to realise that today hasn't started yet!" he took a deep breath and roared: "NOW!"