Sentence The Twohundredandseventythird

“The problem with Andy,” said Professor Laudie Lauderdale, as the other two Wise Men sat with Daphne and Maude in Aunty Christ's television room, discussing their colleague who had just fainted during a live interview with Catriona Renton on Reporting Scotland, among much mirth and
irreverence, “began when he became fixated on a Student – Miss Chrysanthemum MacGillicuddy – and doxed her contact details on the internet, along with photo-shopped pictures of her in the salubrious settings of his marital home where he still lives in uxorial harmony (or so everyone believed) with his wife of over thirty years, Jemima Umpherston – you must know her, the daughter of Lord Umpherston, the Hanging Judge? co-chairman of the Hanging Committee for the RSA Exhibition?” and when both Daphne and Maude nodded, for they had once been very close friends of 
Jemima Umpherston before she had thrown off all her Sapphic relationships, upped and married a rather fragile and extremely poor, though rather handsome – if you like that kind of pale, aesthetic and rather effete man – scholar who was commencing on his life's work, a challenge to the accepted Theory of Evolution propounded by Charles Darwin, in which he, MacAndrew that is, claimed to have definitive proof that the Human Race was descended directly from Adam and Eve; and Lauderdale continued: “of course Miss MacGillicuddy, a rather fetching redhead with a the fiery temper so common among her kind, accused him of breaching both her Civil Liberties and her Human Rights and that, furthermore, he had broken every rule on Data Protection which we all have to sign up to and threatened to have his guts for garters and slow roast him over a large brazier in The Meadows and invite every woman in the department to come an feast on Long Pig at the Autumnal Equinox; but of course, she was sent down and suspended for a Term for maligning a respected Member of the Faculty; but we,” he indicated and included his fellow Wise Man, Professor Geordie Jenkinson, “organised a petition calling for her re-instatement and that is due to be presented as soon as this vacation is over; personally, I think poor old Andy has rather cooked his own goose and that interview just goes to show how far gone he really is!” and everyone in the room concurred and by a show of hands it was decided unanimously that Professor MacAndrew would no longer be admitted to Aunty Christ's establishment, so his colleagues went off to pack his bags and leave them at the gate with a note advising him to return from whence he came.

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