Sentence The Fortyninth
Shortly after the incident of the blackcurrant cordial and the Polar Bear, the two Brevitys sat side by side, facing Martin Elginbrod QC, and the images taken from CCTV cameras lay on the desk between him and them – signifying a vast gulf which had to be bridged from one side or the other;
Elginbrod had pulled the wad of cotton-wool from his mouth and tossed it in a bin, all pretence of dental treatment gone, as he sat and stared at the images - the very incarnation of mala fide; Gordon Brevity knew that Martin Elginbrod could not be trusted to do or say anything which was not in his own, personal, interests; his statement, including some answers to questions put to him, was noted down by Goldy Brevity in her Moleskine book – a gift from her Aunt Maud for her last but one Birthday (she tried not to think of the years celebrated) and used only in significant cases: “well, of course I don't know her, not really, you see just a nodding acquaintance you might say; her name, well, I think it's Bunty, she's more a friend of a friend, well, of an acquaintance really, and actually, it was a mere coincidence that we both happened to be there this morning, so just sharing a few words over a quick drink, really, yes, that about sums it up,” and he beamed, looking and sounding more confident now he had had time to prepare himself; and he waited, and Gordon waited, and Goldy waited, and then Elginbrod carried on: “to be quite honest I can't really recall what we spoke about, just inconsequential stuff, you know, in a bar, passing the time of day, what does one talk about – the weather, rugby, golf, something in the news I suppose, I really don't remember;” and when Brevity asked why he had gone through to the back of the bar, so hurriedly, “he smiled and said “oh, I had just remembered that if I wanted to catch my dentist I'd have to leave, and didn't want to go without saying goodbye – even to someone one knows so very slightly, it would have been impolite, I feel; but she wasn't in sight, and I could hardly go into the Ladies, so had to accept the possibility of seeming rude, or giving offence, and I came back through and left the place – now I really don't know if there is anything I can add, officers, so, if you'll excuse me – I can pop along to your Station in the morning and sign the statement,” but the Sergeant wasn't finished – he asked Elginbrod if he remembered the girl, this 'Bunty' as he called her, talking about a soliciting charge for which she said she'd been arrested outside the First Minister's Residence, and he replied: “oh that, I can't say I was listening really, my tooth was causing a fair bit of pain and it wasn't easy to concentrate, especially on something which doesn't directly involve one,” and when the Sergeant suggested that several of the witnesses grouped around Elginbrod and Bunty had been journalists who recalled, independently of each other, that the girl had been asking the Advocate for his advice and he had advised her how she might wish to plead and when she'd said she wasn't going to be 'going down'– and here Goldy referred to a typed statement she had with several others, and advised Elginbrod that he had been heard to advise 'Bunty' to plead 'Not Guilty', to ask for the matter to be amended and forwarded, and await confirmation before offering evidence, now which part of that was his failure to concentrate because of the pain in his tooth, at which Elginbrod bridled and asked for substantiation of what was merely hearsay and inadmissible, and when Goldy produced a recorder, helpfully used by the journalist – a good friend of her cousin Jinty - who always kept it handy in his oxter, in a little pouch (in reporters' parlance, his hidden derringer) for just such an opportunity as this morning's, and she played a brief extract, in which the Advocate was clearly heard to say just exactly the words Goldy and quoted - Elginbrod tried to reign in his fury and become conciliatory: “well, you appreciate that an Advocate's consultations with a client are strictly confidential, quite often we are, you might say, enfranchised, to participate in some matter as a representative of a party who wishes to retain some distance between themselves and the business in hand (of course, that is often the role taken by Solicitors,” he said with a slight distaste, indicating the elevation he felt from such lower creatures. “ but nobless oblige is but one of the responsibilioties of attaining a high position in the world, and one does what one can to help those less fortunate,” and Goldy asked if the setting, a busy lunchtime pub, frequented by the press was normal for his confidential discussions with those 'less fortunate,' “it was her choice,” said Elginbrod, rather huffily, but enabling Gordon Brevity to say, quite softly but with chilling clarity, that he took that as an admission that the meeting between Elginbrod and Bunty was pre-arranged and his previous statements that there was nothing but a casual acquaintance between them were untrue, and Elginbrod said that he had better say nothing more until his solicitor (his younger brother, also Martin Elginbrod), was present – Goldy finished her notes, closed her book and she and her husband rose, and Gordon advised Martin Elginbrod that he would not be charged, at present, with being an accessory to the grievous bodily harm and attempted murder of Angus Ogilvy, or Og of the Bog, by Bunty – he asked what her surname was and Elginbrod said it was “Longformacus, but you didn't get that from me,” and after a few more words the two Sergeants left for the drive back to the Grassmarket and Cowgate Community Policing Hub; in the car, Goldy turned to Gordon, her face a display of confusion, and she asked him why he hadn't charged Elginbrod today, and Gordon explained that it was a strange sensation in his heart and toes, quite unrelated to anything the Advocate had said - possibly a case of telesthesia - but it convinced him that, while Elginbrod was undoubtedly guilty of many things, one of them wasn't as accomplice to Bunty Longformacus in the vicious attack on Angus Og and he went on saying that it wasn't that girl who stuck her heel into Og's head, anyway - don't ask me who it was, I don't know, but it wasn't her, I'll stake my wife on it, and Goldy stared at her husband as if he was mad!
Shortly after the incident of the blackcurrant cordial and the Polar Bear, the two Brevitys sat side by side, facing Martin Elginbrod QC, and the images taken from CCTV cameras lay on the desk between him and them – signifying a vast gulf which had to be bridged from one side or the other;
Elginbrod had pulled the wad of cotton-wool from his mouth and tossed it in a bin, all pretence of dental treatment gone, as he sat and stared at the images - the very incarnation of mala fide; Gordon Brevity knew that Martin Elginbrod could not be trusted to do or say anything which was not in his own, personal, interests; his statement, including some answers to questions put to him, was noted down by Goldy Brevity in her Moleskine book – a gift from her Aunt Maud for her last but one Birthday (she tried not to think of the years celebrated) and used only in significant cases: “well, of course I don't know her, not really, you see just a nodding acquaintance you might say; her name, well, I think it's Bunty, she's more a friend of a friend, well, of an acquaintance really, and actually, it was a mere coincidence that we both happened to be there this morning, so just sharing a few words over a quick drink, really, yes, that about sums it up,” and he beamed, looking and sounding more confident now he had had time to prepare himself; and he waited, and Gordon waited, and Goldy waited, and then Elginbrod carried on: “to be quite honest I can't really recall what we spoke about, just inconsequential stuff, you know, in a bar, passing the time of day, what does one talk about – the weather, rugby, golf, something in the news I suppose, I really don't remember;” and when Brevity asked why he had gone through to the back of the bar, so hurriedly, “he smiled and said “oh, I had just remembered that if I wanted to catch my dentist I'd have to leave, and didn't want to go without saying goodbye – even to someone one knows so very slightly, it would have been impolite, I feel; but she wasn't in sight, and I could hardly go into the Ladies, so had to accept the possibility of seeming rude, or giving offence, and I came back through and left the place – now I really don't know if there is anything I can add, officers, so, if you'll excuse me – I can pop along to your Station in the morning and sign the statement,” but the Sergeant wasn't finished – he asked Elginbrod if he remembered the girl, this 'Bunty' as he called her, talking about a soliciting charge for which she said she'd been arrested outside the First Minister's Residence, and he replied: “oh that, I can't say I was listening really, my tooth was causing a fair bit of pain and it wasn't easy to concentrate, especially on something which doesn't directly involve one,” and when the Sergeant suggested that several of the witnesses grouped around Elginbrod and Bunty had been journalists who recalled, independently of each other, that the girl had been asking the Advocate for his advice and he had advised her how she might wish to plead and when she'd said she wasn't going to be 'going down'– and here Goldy referred to a typed statement she had with several others, and advised Elginbrod that he had been heard to advise 'Bunty' to plead 'Not Guilty', to ask for the matter to be amended and forwarded, and await confirmation before offering evidence, now which part of that was his failure to concentrate because of the pain in his tooth, at which Elginbrod bridled and asked for substantiation of what was merely hearsay and inadmissible, and when Goldy produced a recorder, helpfully used by the journalist – a good friend of her cousin Jinty - who always kept it handy in his oxter, in a little pouch (in reporters' parlance, his hidden derringer) for just such an opportunity as this morning's, and she played a brief extract, in which the Advocate was clearly heard to say just exactly the words Goldy and quoted - Elginbrod tried to reign in his fury and become conciliatory: “well, you appreciate that an Advocate's consultations with a client are strictly confidential, quite often we are, you might say, enfranchised, to participate in some matter as a representative of a party who wishes to retain some distance between themselves and the business in hand (of course, that is often the role taken by Solicitors,” he said with a slight distaste, indicating the elevation he felt from such lower creatures. “ but nobless oblige is but one of the responsibilioties of attaining a high position in the world, and one does what one can to help those less fortunate,” and Goldy asked if the setting, a busy lunchtime pub, frequented by the press was normal for his confidential discussions with those 'less fortunate,' “it was her choice,” said Elginbrod, rather huffily, but enabling Gordon Brevity to say, quite softly but with chilling clarity, that he took that as an admission that the meeting between Elginbrod and Bunty was pre-arranged and his previous statements that there was nothing but a casual acquaintance between them were untrue, and Elginbrod said that he had better say nothing more until his solicitor (his younger brother, also Martin Elginbrod), was present – Goldy finished her notes, closed her book and she and her husband rose, and Gordon advised Martin Elginbrod that he would not be charged, at present, with being an accessory to the grievous bodily harm and attempted murder of Angus Ogilvy, or Og of the Bog, by Bunty – he asked what her surname was and Elginbrod said it was “Longformacus, but you didn't get that from me,” and after a few more words the two Sergeants left for the drive back to the Grassmarket and Cowgate Community Policing Hub; in the car, Goldy turned to Gordon, her face a display of confusion, and she asked him why he hadn't charged Elginbrod today, and Gordon explained that it was a strange sensation in his heart and toes, quite unrelated to anything the Advocate had said - possibly a case of telesthesia - but it convinced him that, while Elginbrod was undoubtedly guilty of many things, one of them wasn't as accomplice to Bunty Longformacus in the vicious attack on Angus Og and he went on saying that it wasn't that girl who stuck her heel into Og's head, anyway - don't ask me who it was, I don't know, but it wasn't her, I'll stake my wife on it, and Goldy stared at her husband as if he was mad!
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