Sentence The Threehundredandfourth
And having told the story of Rusty and Dusty, we must now rewind our clock to yesterday afternoon and return to the Back Room of The Ship Inn, where the excited gathering, had all eyes and ears focussed on a familiar figure in her Police Scotland uniform, which her familiar figure filled
perfectly: the efficient WPC Isa Urquhart laid out the known facts dispassionately and with a thoroughness that impressed her audience: “CCTV cameras picked up the missing ACC Duncan Doubleday's car in Peebles, prior to the crash near Fairmilehead, before that in Galashiels, and before that in Melrose – they also picked it up earlier in the day travelling from Edinburgh through Lauder on it's way South, but it gets lost after reaching the Melrose Bypass, and heading West and there is a gap of about two hours before the return journey and this gives rise to a suspicion that he was visiting a location somewhere in the vicinity of the Eildon Hills and I understand that Aunty Crist has a crucial contribution to make,” at which point, Cristobal stood and was seen to be holding a
manuscript in her hand; “by the luckiest of chances, I happen to be working with a Russian student, Ludmilla Lermontov, who is a direct descendant of the famous poet of whom I presume you are all aware,” and a rumble from the gathering indicated assent; “well,” continued Aunty Crist, “by the purest of chances, Ludmilla,” and here, the Russian student stood and took a bow, “Ludmilla
happened to have in her possession this manuscript dating from the 13th Century, written in a form of Middle English with distinct features of Old Scots, which purports to be in the hand of Thomas Learmonth, commonly called 'Thomas The Rhymer' and it contains a number of predictions of events which took place in his lifetime, and beyond – right up until the present day; we have verified those which have already occurred, including the discovery of the Americas by Columbus, beheading of Mary, Queen of Scots, the English Civil War and the Sinking of The Titanic, and more recently, the two World Wars and The Holocaust – and perhaps more trivially, but nonetheless astonishing for that, the winning of the Grand National in 1967 by Foinavon; this, you will agree, I am sure, is a momentous discovery; the manuscript has been handed down in the family through the generations – during the uncertain times of the Revolution, it was hidden for safety, baked in a challah - but this is the first time that it has been extensively studied and translated, and I believe that it contains veiled references to our beloved nieces, Bernie Westwater and Tammy Shanter and also Tavish Dalwhinnie! if authenticated, which I am certain it will be, not only does it confirm the potency of Thomas Learmonth's ability to forecast future events, but it may enable us to discover the whereabouts of our missing relatives!” the stunned silence was followed by a roar of excitement and a babble of questions which Aunty Crist shushed with her hands: “patience, my friends, may not be a virtue in our family, but you will need to bite your tongues, or haud yer wheesht a wee whilie, tae gie's time tae dae wir werk, and in the meantime, Isa has a list of locations which she wants searched; the police do not have sufficient man or woman-power for this so our services have been volunteered; rightie-ho, it's time to 'Woman Up' as they say nowadays, so grab a map from Isa, stick it up yer oxter, yer jouk or yer alah – depending on your preference and head off in fours, and keep in telephone contact with Goldy Brevity who is going to hold the fort here as our base, give her
anything you find, no matter how nugatory it seems, for every clue may help us resolve this mystery and return your cousins in one piece; oh, and Rusty is keeping a pony keg on tap for refreshments so Guid Luck!”
And having told the story of Rusty and Dusty, we must now rewind our clock to yesterday afternoon and return to the Back Room of The Ship Inn, where the excited gathering, had all eyes and ears focussed on a familiar figure in her Police Scotland uniform, which her familiar figure filled
perfectly: the efficient WPC Isa Urquhart laid out the known facts dispassionately and with a thoroughness that impressed her audience: “CCTV cameras picked up the missing ACC Duncan Doubleday's car in Peebles, prior to the crash near Fairmilehead, before that in Galashiels, and before that in Melrose – they also picked it up earlier in the day travelling from Edinburgh through Lauder on it's way South, but it gets lost after reaching the Melrose Bypass, and heading West and there is a gap of about two hours before the return journey and this gives rise to a suspicion that he was visiting a location somewhere in the vicinity of the Eildon Hills and I understand that Aunty Crist has a crucial contribution to make,” at which point, Cristobal stood and was seen to be holding a manuscript in her hand; “by the luckiest of chances, I happen to be working with a Russian student, Ludmilla Lermontov, who is a direct descendant of the famous poet of whom I presume you are all aware,” and a rumble from the gathering indicated assent; “well,” continued Aunty Crist, “by the purest of chances, Ludmilla,” and here, the Russian student stood and took a bow, “Ludmilla happened to have in her possession this manuscript dating from the 13th Century, written in a form of Middle English with distinct features of Old Scots, which purports to be in the hand of Thomas Learmonth, commonly called 'Thomas The Rhymer' and it contains a number of predictions of events which took place in his lifetime, and beyond – right up until the present day; we have verified those which have already occurred, including the discovery of the Americas by Columbus, beheading of Mary, Queen of Scots, the English Civil War and the Sinking of The Titanic, and more recently, the two World Wars and The Holocaust – and perhaps more trivially, but nonetheless astonishing for that, the winning of the Grand National in 1967 by Foinavon; this, you will agree, I am sure, is a momentous discovery; the manuscript has been handed down in the family through the generations – during the uncertain times of the Revolution, it was hidden for safety, baked in a challah - but this is the first time that it has been extensively studied and translated, and I believe that it contains veiled references to our beloved nieces, Bernie Westwater and Tammy Shanter and also Tavish Dalwhinnie! if authenticated, which I am certain it will be, not only does it confirm the potency of Thomas Learmonth's ability to forecast future events, but it may enable us to discover the whereabouts of our missing relatives!” the stunned silence was followed by a roar of excitement and a babble of questions which Aunty Crist shushed with her hands: “patience, my friends, may not be a virtue in our family, but you will need to bite your tongues, or haud yer wheesht a wee whilie, tae gie's time tae dae wir werk, and in the meantime, Isa has a list of locations which she wants searched; the police do not have sufficient man or woman-power for this so our services have been volunteered; rightie-ho, it's time to 'Woman Up' as they say nowadays, so grab a map from Isa, stick it up yer oxter, yer jouk or yer alah – depending on your preference and head off in fours, and keep in telephone contact with Goldy Brevity who is going to hold the fort here as our base, give her anything you find, no matter how nugatory it seems, for every clue may help us resolve this mystery and return your cousins in one piece; oh, and Rusty is keeping a pony keg on tap for refreshments so Guid Luck!”
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