Sentence The Onehundredandfiftyfifth
That morning, yes, that very next morning, after the excitement of the Quiz Night at The City Bar and the resulting shaming of Tavish Dalwhinnie – what a foolish man to fail so transparently to cover his tracks and so bring the wrath of the entire Scottish Establishment down upon his head, resulting in full centre-spreads on the scandal in every Red Top and in-depth analysis, with biographical details which he would far rather have kept cloaked in mystery – including the disclosure that, along with Jock George now Lord Justice Linkumdoddie, to whom he was something of a Sancho – after Don Quixote's companion, for in appearance they resembled Cervantes' famous creations even to this day:
Jock, tall, thin, Ascetic, while Tavish is small, tubby, a true Hedonist – he (under the code-name Ogdoad, perhaps because in his build he rather resembled the figure 8) had been one of the two, hitherto unidentified, drivers of the white van used in the 'Stone of Scone Heist' (everyone having by now adopted Tammy Shanter's nomenclature (and The Scotsman having successfully fought off a hostile attempt by Martin Elginbrod QC to backdate a registration of that wording in order to claim Copyright for himself and make a fortune out of poor Tavish's disgrace), but perhaps the most unlikely item to come out of it all, and one initially appearing only in The Weekly News, sister paper of The Sunday Post, then picked up by My Weekly – giving a more romanticised impressionist portrayal of Tavish as something of a Jacobite Hero, a modern version of Allan Breck Stewart, including a knitting pattern for the Cardigan, or Sleeveless Woolly, which is regarded as his sartorial
hallmark – and then in The Sunday Post itself, where, contiguous to an article on the 'Benefits of Cauliflower in the Diet', was found the exposure of Dalwhinnie as an MI5 officer almost since starting at University and making public his close and hitherto well kept secret life as the lover of
Tabby Shanter, an Extra-Mural Lecturer at Edinburgh University, his long-time MI5 Case Officer, and the father of her daughter, Miss Tammy Shanter herself, the former Librarian at The Scotsman and now Chief Investigating Reporter who. in her dishing the dirt on Tavish, seems to have been unaware that he was in fact her Daddy - but to get back to that morning, the glowing WPC Isa Urquhart strolled into The Grassmarket and Cowgate Community Policing Hub and casually chucked a copy of The Edinburgh and Leith Police Gazette onto DI Brevity's desk, almost causing him to upset his morning coffee, brewed specially for him by his wife, Sergeant Goldy Brevity, using Krakatoa Beans, his all-time favourite for the strongest wake-up morning cuppa – “look at page 3, Guv,” said the irreverent WPC, struggling to contain her excitement; Brevity moved his coffee mug out of harm's way and opened The Gazette, wondering what could be so interesting on page 3, normally the location of freakish 'Mug Shots' with details of the offences perpetrated by the possessors of those Mugs; and found himself looking at the back of an ear, protruding into the
photograph of a couple of Police Cadets receiving commendations for their good work in fostering Community Relations by building a Maze, from junk and cast-away rubbish, in conjunction with a Youth Club in Danderhall; the photograph showed the two baby-faced constables grinning inanely in the direction of whoever the ear belonged to; but Brevity could not understand Isa's evident glee, until she said that Imelda, her latest squeeze, and so far the only witness, had identified the ear as belonging to the person who had tried to murder Bernie Westwater in the passenger lift at Waverley Station – a fluke co-incidence, for she had by the merest chance, just happened to have been in Isa's flat, asking about dog licences, had felt faint and been laid down on Isa's bed to recover, and on rolling over, spotted an old copy of The Gazette tucked away under a rolled-up carpet beneath Isa's bed and shouted out, for Isa, who was having a shower, “it's him!”
That morning, yes, that very next morning, after the excitement of the Quiz Night at The City Bar and the resulting shaming of Tavish Dalwhinnie – what a foolish man to fail so transparently to cover his tracks and so bring the wrath of the entire Scottish Establishment down upon his head, resulting in full centre-spreads on the scandal in every Red Top and in-depth analysis, with biographical details which he would far rather have kept cloaked in mystery – including the disclosure that, along with Jock George now Lord Justice Linkumdoddie, to whom he was something of a Sancho – after Don Quixote's companion, for in appearance they resembled Cervantes' famous creations even to this day:
Jock, tall, thin, Ascetic, while Tavish is small, tubby, a true Hedonist – he (under the code-name Ogdoad, perhaps because in his build he rather resembled the figure 8) had been one of the two, hitherto unidentified, drivers of the white van used in the 'Stone of Scone Heist' (everyone having by now adopted Tammy Shanter's nomenclature (and The Scotsman having successfully fought off a hostile attempt by Martin Elginbrod QC to backdate a registration of that wording in order to claim Copyright for himself and make a fortune out of poor Tavish's disgrace), but perhaps the most unlikely item to come out of it all, and one initially appearing only in The Weekly News, sister paper of The Sunday Post, then picked up by My Weekly – giving a more romanticised impressionist portrayal of Tavish as something of a Jacobite Hero, a modern version of Allan Breck Stewart, including a knitting pattern for the Cardigan, or Sleeveless Woolly, which is regarded as his sartorial
hallmark – and then in The Sunday Post itself, where, contiguous to an article on the 'Benefits of Cauliflower in the Diet', was found the exposure of Dalwhinnie as an MI5 officer almost since starting at University and making public his close and hitherto well kept secret life as the lover of
Tabby Shanter, an Extra-Mural Lecturer at Edinburgh University, his long-time MI5 Case Officer, and the father of her daughter, Miss Tammy Shanter herself, the former Librarian at The Scotsman and now Chief Investigating Reporter who. in her dishing the dirt on Tavish, seems to have been unaware that he was in fact her Daddy - but to get back to that morning, the glowing WPC Isa Urquhart strolled into The Grassmarket and Cowgate Community Policing Hub and casually chucked a copy of The Edinburgh and Leith Police Gazette onto DI Brevity's desk, almost causing him to upset his morning coffee, brewed specially for him by his wife, Sergeant Goldy Brevity, using Krakatoa Beans, his all-time favourite for the strongest wake-up morning cuppa – “look at page 3, Guv,” said the irreverent WPC, struggling to contain her excitement; Brevity moved his coffee mug out of harm's way and opened The Gazette, wondering what could be so interesting on page 3, normally the location of freakish 'Mug Shots' with details of the offences perpetrated by the possessors of those Mugs; and found himself looking at the back of an ear, protruding into the
photograph of a couple of Police Cadets receiving commendations for their good work in fostering Community Relations by building a Maze, from junk and cast-away rubbish, in conjunction with a Youth Club in Danderhall; the photograph showed the two baby-faced constables grinning inanely in the direction of whoever the ear belonged to; but Brevity could not understand Isa's evident glee, until she said that Imelda, her latest squeeze, and so far the only witness, had identified the ear as belonging to the person who had tried to murder Bernie Westwater in the passenger lift at Waverley Station – a fluke co-incidence, for she had by the merest chance, just happened to have been in Isa's flat, asking about dog licences, had felt faint and been laid down on Isa's bed to recover, and on rolling over, spotted an old copy of The Gazette tucked away under a rolled-up carpet beneath Isa's bed and shouted out, for Isa, who was having a shower, “it's him!”
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