Sentence The Twentyninth
“Hey, youse yins,“cried Angus Og as he approached Roxy and Jinty, “ah ken ye, yer hurr ur ye no?” at which apparently rhetorical question, the cousins looked at each other and, as the tall, gaunt figure, in kilt and WonderWoman top
seemed about to enter their personal space, Jinty said that she didn't think so – confident that he wouldn't remember her from his show at the Komedy Klub, for she had been sitting behind a burly rugby player; he laughed, “no you, hen, yer wee pal – it's Sue isn't it – Ah met ye at the Festival, ye were a Hoot,” and he began laughing again – as at some remembered joke, “Susan Calmac – Ah never forget a wummin, even if yer no inclined, if ye get ma drift,” and for the third time that morning, Roxy blushed to her roots – this was becoming a problem she would have to confide to her therapist, Ishbel; Roxy protested that Angus – though she didn't let on that she and Jinty knew who he was, was mistaken, though she could understand, it was a simple error, for both she and the
weel-kent comedienne were indeed of petite stature, of similar build, wore similar clothes and had similar hair-styles and indeed were both 'no inclined' by which she had divined that he meant were not smitten by him, nor indeed any man; “ye must be hurr, dae ye no mind me?” to which Roxy asked him which morpheme of no was he unable to comprehend, and, when he looked puzzled, she explained by asking if it was the N or the O that he had difficulty with, to which he riposted “well if yer nae hurr, whit are youse daen here?” another non-sequitor, for neither Roxy nor Jinty could understand why it might be thought natural for Susan Calmac to be in Waird's Close, but not them, and then Jinty spoke out, saying that as a Senior Officer of the City she was investigating a smoke detector which had been triggered, with no smoke or fire in evidence and she might ask him the same thing, for his rubbernecking at the scene could be construed as suspicious, as this was obviously not his heimisch, at which he apologised profusely, informed them that, no, his name wasn't Hamish, and told them that he was looking for a young friend who had entered the Close the day before yesterday but hadn't been seen to emerge at the Cockburn Street end and he was just concerned lest the young man, a visitor to the Town, had taken a wrong turning and perhaps ended up in Jinglin' Geordie's – a well-known pub down The Scotsman Steps which Jinty knew could not be accessed from any of the many terrestrial branches off this particular close - though she couldn't speak for astral planes - so she narrowed her eyes as she looked him up and down and said, between gritted teeth, that there was no-one here but them, and the three police officers who were helping with their search for the errant smoke detector; at which Angus Og mumbled something approximating an apology for interfering with their duties and hastily retreated up the Close in the direction of the High Street, which was when Roxy told Jinty that indeed she had met him, not at the Festival and only for a few moments a couple of years ago, but that his attentions at the time were focussed on her friend – and yet another cousin – Isa Urquhart, at which Jinty nodded knowingly, for few men had eyes for anyone else if Isa Urquhart was in the company, though they quickly learned that men, in her own words, “ain't my bag!” and Roxy added that she also remembered his real name, for Angus Og of the Bog was but a Stage name - “he's Angus Ogilvy, and he comes from Dalmarnock, where he used to be a Postman until he was badly savaged by a mad dog and was unable to do the delivery rounds any more, but was so traumatised that he couldn't thole the idea of working in the Sorting Office either, and received compensation - it was reported in The Sunday Post, she insisted, and also The Weekly News; she added that there was a terrible fuss and the Posties Union (the name had been changed from Postmen's when women came to be employed on deliveries) threatened strike action, while the dog's owner said that Ogilvy had been teasing the poor wee puppy for weeks
before it bared its teeth and sank them in his thigh - but why, she mused, would an ex-postman be involved in a plot to hide the story of Sister Evadne Eglantine and Sir Parlane MacFarlane, even to the extent of bolting Aunt Daphne in an oubliette with the expectation of she and the story dying there – it gets curiouser and curiouser, don't you think, Jinty dear? and Jinty, with a twinkle in her eye, suggested that they consult Old Bob, for she had a feeling there was something he wanted to show them!
“Hey, youse yins,“cried Angus Og as he approached Roxy and Jinty, “ah ken ye, yer hurr ur ye no?” at which apparently rhetorical question, the cousins looked at each other and, as the tall, gaunt figure, in kilt and WonderWoman top
seemed about to enter their personal space, Jinty said that she didn't think so – confident that he wouldn't remember her from his show at the Komedy Klub, for she had been sitting behind a burly rugby player; he laughed, “no you, hen, yer wee pal – it's Sue isn't it – Ah met ye at the Festival, ye were a Hoot,” and he began laughing again – as at some remembered joke, “Susan Calmac – Ah never forget a wummin, even if yer no inclined, if ye get ma drift,” and for the third time that morning, Roxy blushed to her roots – this was becoming a problem she would have to confide to her therapist, Ishbel; Roxy protested that Angus – though she didn't let on that she and Jinty knew who he was, was mistaken, though she could understand, it was a simple error, for both she and the
weel-kent comedienne were indeed of petite stature, of similar build, wore similar clothes and had similar hair-styles and indeed were both 'no inclined' by which she had divined that he meant were not smitten by him, nor indeed any man; “ye must be hurr, dae ye no mind me?” to which Roxy asked him which morpheme of no was he unable to comprehend, and, when he looked puzzled, she explained by asking if it was the N or the O that he had difficulty with, to which he riposted “well if yer nae hurr, whit are youse daen here?” another non-sequitor, for neither Roxy nor Jinty could understand why it might be thought natural for Susan Calmac to be in Waird's Close, but not them, and then Jinty spoke out, saying that as a Senior Officer of the City she was investigating a smoke detector which had been triggered, with no smoke or fire in evidence and she might ask him the same thing, for his rubbernecking at the scene could be construed as suspicious, as this was obviously not his heimisch, at which he apologised profusely, informed them that, no, his name wasn't Hamish, and told them that he was looking for a young friend who had entered the Close the day before yesterday but hadn't been seen to emerge at the Cockburn Street end and he was just concerned lest the young man, a visitor to the Town, had taken a wrong turning and perhaps ended up in Jinglin' Geordie's – a well-known pub down The Scotsman Steps which Jinty knew could not be accessed from any of the many terrestrial branches off this particular close - though she couldn't speak for astral planes - so she narrowed her eyes as she looked him up and down and said, between gritted teeth, that there was no-one here but them, and the three police officers who were helping with their search for the errant smoke detector; at which Angus Og mumbled something approximating an apology for interfering with their duties and hastily retreated up the Close in the direction of the High Street, which was when Roxy told Jinty that indeed she had met him, not at the Festival and only for a few moments a couple of years ago, but that his attentions at the time were focussed on her friend – and yet another cousin – Isa Urquhart, at which Jinty nodded knowingly, for few men had eyes for anyone else if Isa Urquhart was in the company, though they quickly learned that men, in her own words, “ain't my bag!” and Roxy added that she also remembered his real name, for Angus Og of the Bog was but a Stage name - “he's Angus Ogilvy, and he comes from Dalmarnock, where he used to be a Postman until he was badly savaged by a mad dog and was unable to do the delivery rounds any more, but was so traumatised that he couldn't thole the idea of working in the Sorting Office either, and received compensation - it was reported in The Sunday Post, she insisted, and also The Weekly News; she added that there was a terrible fuss and the Posties Union (the name had been changed from Postmen's when women came to be employed on deliveries) threatened strike action, while the dog's owner said that Ogilvy had been teasing the poor wee puppy for weeks
before it bared its teeth and sank them in his thigh - but why, she mused, would an ex-postman be involved in a plot to hide the story of Sister Evadne Eglantine and Sir Parlane MacFarlane, even to the extent of bolting Aunt Daphne in an oubliette with the expectation of she and the story dying there – it gets curiouser and curiouser, don't you think, Jinty dear? and Jinty, with a twinkle in her eye, suggested that they consult Old Bob, for she had a feeling there was something he wanted to show them!
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