Sentence The Sevenhundredandtwentyfourth
Which was when Shelley 'Bouncer' Ball
turned from her computer screen and rang the servants' bell; her
husband Gandolfo popped his head round the door: "you rang, my
beloved?" at which she scowled: "find out who this
MissTeriWoman is who's posting stuff on something called Quadrivial
Quandary! she knows I'm planning on having that disappeared bitch
Roxy Davidova declared dead, and have her seat as leader of the Party
vacated for me!" she had a tendency to use intransitive verbs in
her normal speech, believing it made her sound more of a Mafiosi;
"oh, yes. dear, I do believe her name is Theresa Somerville, she
lives in Melrose and posts her stuff on Blogger too, and . . . . . "
he
who hesitates is lost, for Shelley’s twin headlights transfixed
him and he could hardly lift his eyes to hers: "you read her
trash? don't answer that, don't incriminate yourself," she
repeated the Central Office mantra, thinking to herself, out loud as
always: "hold the ring, hold the ring!" and giving Gandolfo
a dismissive wave of The Fingers, turned her back on him and began
typing furiously, when, of a sudden, her Private Personal Telephone
trilled The Dead March from Saul, she dug it out of her bag and
pressed the answer button, and the voice she heard was music to her
ears: "hi, Sis, it's me!" of the Joy! the soaring
unrestrained Joy! as her heart which had been deep in the abyss of a
saudade, suddenly jumped for Joy! "is it really you Martin?
really you? we saw video on YouTube from some scrote called The
Economic Migrant showing you being dumped in the sea after a failed
attempt to assassinate Donaldo!" and he sighed, "a mistake
my dear, an unfortunate accident, but yes, I'm really here – I'm
with cousin Duncan, don't ask me how, I thought I was crawling
through Hades when suddenly I popped into his Lounge, along with some
children, fuck knows where they came from, but once they were
showered and scrubbed they proved rather entertaining, but what I
wanted to say was, is: one of them has a remarkable similarity to the
First Minister, she's Ginger Goldfish's daughter to the life, I
promise you, so we are thinking of making her a suppositious, what do
you think? a long lost Bastard, evidence of a fling with the previous
First Minister, Slippery Salmon, that should just about kill off her
Party's chances in the Election, and if you can become Leader of the
Unionists, what a Golden Opportunity! our best chance to pop an Oozy
rat in a sanitary zoo
if you will excuse the palindrome, Sis!" and she wanted to hold
him to her breast, to both of her ample breasts, which already
threatened to burst out from her tight dress (she always, but always,
wore two sizes too small, and it worked! had not she mesmerised the
Party, the Electors – White Trash, all of them – the Media, they
loved her, they adored her, she was on a Roll, a Jelly Roll!) and
there are even two tame reporters she can bring in, the story will
make their names, they'll do it for love of her, "bring it on,
Marty, bring it on! stick it up her Arse, Marty, fuck that fuckin
bitch like she's never been fucked before – Make Her a fuckin
Hysterectomy!"
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