Sentence The Sixhundredandeighth

 

"Hamish, or AKA as ye ca' him's a twa-faced Janus, but ah ken he's no the same as he wis, it's like he's bin rejuvenated, or mair likely, replaced by this newer model, wha thinks he's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious but if he's wha ye think he is, then ma Hamish's probly deid an buried sumwhaur, an the Peelers urny even lookin furrim, but ma pal Sadie's hooked up wi the lawyer, Bernie, the yin wha got the bastard aff cos o sum kinda legal conundrum, an she sez her Bernie's convinced Hamish is ackshully thon Gerry, Goering, jist like ye said, but the only wey am goanie be free o him is if he's deid an buried tae, which is why ah need yer help boays, cos yer invisible!" at which the boys stared goggle-eyed: "invisible!" squeaked Tam and Jessie laughed, "aye,

but ah kin see yese, whit ah mean is naebdy's goanie pey ony attention tae twa wee boays strollin aboot, an that's whit maks ye invisible!" and she laid out the plan, and gave each of the brothers a small handsel, both as a token of their engagement as her invisible watchers, and for the good luck of the project: "jings!" said Tam, "crivvens," said Boabbie, as they each looked at the gold half-sovereign Jessie had given them, "aye, well, an help ma boab if eeva o ye gets caught wi that in yer pooch, ye'd best hide um well or wese in the stooks!" she kissed each of them an sent them home so that they would be safe in their beds before the New Year Bells, and switched on the wireless: Victor Sylvester and his Palm Court Orchestra, a nice glass of gin and tonic and the swoops and swells of the music would calm her racing heart before AKA returned from his wandering hands.